****

Rabbit Hole –sp David Lindsey–Abaire as screenwriter for this film, based on his own Pulitzer Prize winning play, really gets into the head and the emotions of two grieving parents 8 months after the death of their five year old son who died running after his beloved dog. We never meet Danny and barely see a picture of him but we come to clearly understand the relentless pain in all it’s forms which his parents Becca (Nicole Kidman) and Howie (Aaron Eckhart) are feeling. Each of them are  grieving in his and her own way which despite sharing this most personal tragedy and a good previous relationship, there seems to be  no room for empathy between them. Becca’s quest to find some way to deal with her deep dark feelings leads her to establish a relationship with Jason (Miles Teller), the 18 year old high school senior who swerved his car, which he confesses to her may have been going a mile or two over the speed limit, which led to the tragedy and  now has created a bond between them. Becca’s somewhat religious mother (Diane Wiest) whose son died at age 31 , eleven years previously, provides a counterpoint from where she is coming. Nicole Kidman who saw the original play and started the ball rolling to make it into a movie chose John Cameron Mitchell to direct it. Mitchell and Lindsey Abaire who were guests at our screening acknowledged that they complemented each other as they explored the fine points of this film. The director, who had only a 4 million dollar budget, shared with us that he let the actors steep  themselves into their emotional  roles which he appeared to nimbly direct as well as spending  a great deal of time in editing the fine points. He gave a touch of humor to   a primarily a dark movie and kept us the audience observing at a slight distance from the unimaginable tragedy. We did not shed a tear for the young boy who we did not meet or really know. As mental health professionals who have worked with many grieving patients, we had the feeling that we were empathizing with people we cared about, as we might with a patient who is   involved in their own dynamics that are unfolding before us at somewhat rapid pace. The fact that the writer, director and the actors really nailed the complicated feelings and interactions without ripping apart the guts of the audience (which they could have easily done) may be judged a shortcoming of the movie by some or the height of sophistication by others.

This movie also merits comparison with four other movies which we have seen in the past year and each of which shows attempts at dealing with grief in a different manner.

A Single Man shows Colin Firth in an Oscar nominated performance as George a college professor whose lover has died in an auto accident and in his grief he is on the verge of suicide when he meets a young student who cares about him. Robin Williams does an excellent job as an unsuccessful writer in World’s Greatest Dad grieving   a teenage son who committed  suicide. The father pretends his late son has written the story of being bullied and the result is a game changer for the community and for the dad which gives some meaning to this tragic loss.  The Lovely Bones deals with the murder of a young teenager (Saoirse Ronan) who had just begun to feel the glimmers of romance which leads the audience to feel her parent’s unresolved grief despite the youngsters ethereal existence. There is a small amount of compensation as the killer is caught through the efforts of the girl’s sister.  The film, which most closely resembles the Rabbit Hole, is The Greatest which brought together a comparable great performance by Pierce Brosman and Susan Sarandon who are the grieving parents of a teenager killed in car accident while he is with his girl friend played by Carey Mulligan. The potential for the parents to live with their grief is the unborn child being carried by the young girl friend whereas  in the film which we reviewed today,   the hope for a better future is only hinted by a subtle but important gesture at it’s conclusion. We thought these two were both excellent films The  Greatest didn’t achieve the critic’s Oscar acclaim and it appears that the Rabbit Hole may get some such bids. However overall, we rated the Rabbit Hole a notch lower. We certainly do believe that  this movie is the finest example and should be used as a teaching tool and stimulus for discussion for those who are studying the grieving process as well as a movie worth seeing for anyone interested in these all too real human emotions. (2010) ****

***

A Single Man – nf-  This is one of those films which tries to explain what life is all about. It is set in 1962 and George Falcon  (Colin Firth)  is a gay English Professor at a college in Los Angeles. Very early in the movie we learn that his partner of 16 years has died in car accident while visiting his family in the north. The funeral is only for  “ family” and George is not welcome to attend. The movie proceeds to show a subsequent meaningful day in his life, albeit with various flashbacks, while he is drowning in his grief. It is a meaningful day because we see that George is planning for this day to be his last one. Many of the people whom he meets in his usual day seem to detect that he is unhappy and do seem to care about him. There are two people who are capable of moving him   We meet Charley (Julianne Moore) whom he first knew in England, was briefly a former lover  and now lives nearby and is a very good friend. She seems to mirror his struggle trying to find the meaning of life and their interaction is warm, intimate and provides rich insight into both of them. However he seems to be able to leave her behind. As determined, as George is to make this his last day, his order of things seems to be shook up as Kenny (Nicolas Hoult) one of his students seeks him out and makes a connection with him. This is very complicated connection, no doubt, and this relationship makes the point of the movie about the meaning of life. This film is based on book written by Christopher Isherwood more than 25 years ago and appears to have had a very special meaning to director Tom Ford who wrote the screenplay with David Scearce. In the commentary on the DVD, it is clear that Ford clearly identifies with the main character. He describes many of the complicated symbolism and imagery, which he used in the film which certainly did not come to mind while watching it.  On  the other hand, it is the total effect that really counts and Ford has put into the film a musical score that parallels the mood being developed, as does the changing tints and colors that have been used . Whether or not you get caught up in the message of the movie, it is easy to see why Colin Firth was nominated for an Oscar for this performance. In his British understated manner he conveys usually just with his facial expressions a range of emotions from unmitigated grief and sadness to the subtle joy of caring and being cared about. (2010)